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22nd September 2014

The Golden Cross.

I saw my reflection on the machete blades.

There were three of them. Capable enough to take me away.

I knew where this was going.

Sedated by my medication, I couldn’t scream.

There was still time. So little time.

Cornered, I moved myself towards them before they came to me.


So help me God.

7th August 2014

6th August 2014

Anatomy of a broken heart.

I am messy, hard to deal with, I have issues with myself.

I am weak at my lowest, vulnerable at my weakest. 

Fragile;

My heart is like a broken vase that was stuck back together poorly,

And broken again.

Again.

Again.

It is still a heart.

16th May 2014

Lip virgin.

Today, in piano class.

"So I’m not a lip virgin anymore."

I paused, and very slowly, “What on earth, is a lip virgin Elliot?”

"Oh you do not know? You must be a lip virgin then."

"Yeah I’m fifteen years older. What do I know, right?"

"Anyway, it means that I kissed a girl."

"Shocking. Shall we play some piano to impress your new girlfriend then?"

"Oh, I don’t need to play piano to impress a girl. I’ve got other skills."

image

***All names have been changed to protect the identity of the students observed in this post

17th April 2014

Minimalist watches.

imageRemember, remember, this is now, and now, and now. 
Live it, feel it, cling to it. 
I want to become acutely aware of all I’ve taken for granted.

- Sylvia Plath 


( Watch from AÃRK Collective | Crochet top from H&M )
Photographed by Eugene Mark

8th April 2014

Freshman year.

So back in college, fresh out of the oven, there was this guy who stuck his finger into my mouth, caressed my teeth and molested my tongue. 


Twice.
True story.

But that’s okay. He’s blind.

imageAnd that, kids, was how I got tongue-raped.

It was really weird.

1st April 2014

Fetherlite.

A Thousand Years. 
How would you describe that song in one word?

My student is a father of four and he is currently learning to master this piano piece. I was demonstrating how to project a contrast between intensity and breathlessness, at the same time maintaining a gentle touch of the fingers and movement of the wrists.

And what better ways to express the idiom;

"As light as a… ?"

Feather. I wrote on top of his score sheet…
And then Light, next to it.

24th March 2014

Change.

People change over time, no one can help it.

We try to hold on to how we make each other feel,

But we forget names, and feelings.

We forget shared moments.

Struggling to reconnect we realize that one party feels one way,

and the other never will again. 


Shouts, hollers, prodding.

It’s all different now.

It almost is like it never happened.

They weren’t them,

You weren’t you.

Now you just sigh.

Deep, aching sighs.

And remember, tomorrow is a brighter day.


Package still intact, hard to pry open,

We have a new chance.

Just remember to be forgiving,

To yourself and others.

10th January 2014

It’s been a while.

Hi. How are you doing?

This period in my life I am still trying to figure out who I am and what I want. Surviving the “post break-up”; no texts, no calls, no emails - was one of the hardest things I had to go through last year. Not being able to care how he is doing, where he is or who he’s with, and with random people coming up to you, telling you he was with this woman or that woman. It got to a point where it took a lot of therapy, acceptance and rediscovering yourself.

It wasn’t easy but as time goes by, that’s when you know.

You start to let go and not look back.

22nd December 2013

If there’s one thing I’ve learned.

Never wait. 
Never wait for anyone.
Becaus you’ll only wind up getting yourself hurt. 

And that’s not worth it.

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